He is HOME!
I know military wives around the world can truly empathize with these feelings of Relief, Joy, Thankfulness, and just all around Excited that my husband is home after a 45 day TDY. No it's really not that long of an absence compared to a 1 year deployment but being a part from each other no matter how long the time, distance and circumstances is not fun or desirable.
As soon as he got home he was notified that his schedule is changing to inconvenient days and times off that don't correlate with my work schedule at all. In turn, I get frustrated, sad and conflicted once again. I try to stay positive but it's difficult. The last thing I want to do is be unsupportive or make him think I'm mad at him. It isn't him, it's the schedule and the likelyhood we won't see each other as much. My husband's schedule hasn't stayed the same for longer than a month for the past 7 months since he returned home from his deployment, you'd think I'd be used to this by now... Well, I am used to the changes in some ways and am not used to them in other ways. Every change in his schedule leads me to calculate every possible time we will get to see each other in the week and times we can actually get quality talking times for longer than 2 minutes. I also think of all the activities I'm involved in that conflict with his new schedule and stress over how my schedule will cause us to see each other less... I feel guilty for causing more seperation that necessary. Then I try and assure myself that the things I am involved in are completely legitamate and helpful for my spiritual walk. Can you say overanalyzer?
I learned some things while my husband was away on deployment last summer. We read the book 5 Love languages. My top love language being quality time is not easy to fulfill when your husband is miles away! It's also difficult when he works hours that are opposite of you. Yet, he has done a wonderful job of reaching out to me and talking with me as regularly as he can. I love how much and how well he loves me! It is something I hope he can teach others. You see he doesn't just love me the way he thinks he would want to be loved, he seeks to love me in ways that I desire! That is just so important. He teaches me a lot by how he loves me. He stretches me because I want to learn to love like he does, selflessly and without any selfish gain. We all could learn from this example. This is how Jesus loves us. Selflessly. He died so we could live. He freed us from our own self destruction. It's pretty amazing. One thing being married has taught me is that you can always love more. It isn't a limited thing. Your capacity just keeps growing.
Something the Army has taught me is change will happen and we can't get stuck in one pattern of thinking or too comfortable with one schedule. I'd say God allows the Army to take the sense of security and control out of my hands so that He can lead me to refocus and lean on God again and trust Him to be my source of security and to be the one who is ultimately in control of all things. "He sets the governing authorities in place" "He works all things for the good of those who love Him". I lean on these verses constantly. Without God's promises I would be a frazzled mess. Thankfully after my freak out moments with each new change I feel a peace and I start to trust again. I don't trust that the Army has the best in mind for my husband and I. But I Truly believe God has the best in mind for us. He loves us sooo much and he knows our every need.
